God bless you all!
“What you see on social media is not the whole story.”
So true! Not every that glitters is gold and grass is not always greener on the other side. Try your best. Do not compare yourself to others! If you feel yourself doing this take a social media break. You are loved, loved, loved by God tenfold! May your blessings be abundant this year. Turn to Jesus He is the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6) 🙂
I am not perfect.
I try my best, yet often my best does not seem good enough.
I am not even sure what good enough is. Maybe it is something I will find one day, or maybe it is something I already have.
I am endlessly searching for something, some type of validation. But the truth is I cannot answer my calls for help of my past. What I can do is give it to God and move on, accepting that He is the only one who can validate me. Not others, not mere mortals. Not even myself.
I am God’s, not self’s.
Failing is a fear I have had all to long.
With each company I desire to work for telling me that the position I have desired has just been filled, I tremble with regret. I look around and yet I have no friends. I am merely alone as I sit in my room ready to give up. But then I remember this Bible verse, I lift my eyes up to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord makeover of Heaven and Earth. Yes I was once lost, yet though I am found I still feel confused. The failing of tests both academically and in life are weighing on me. But because of God I shall triumph! Victory is mine sayeth the Lord, and I am on the Lord’s side. The winning side.
I often feel lost,
I am constantly cheering others up when I feel down.
Unfortunately this is constant in our society, and the truth is God loves us whether we feel lost or found.
I’ve ruined so many things, yet God has restored them before I’ve even broken them. He knows my truth and thankfully God has loved me even when I feel lost, even when I felt that I ruined things, even when I felt that I wanted to die and end all that He has blessed me with, given me, and has enstore for me.
God told me to graduate in 2022.
I decided to take the opportunity to graduate in 2021, pushing myself harder and harder to the point of having several mental breakdowns a day, constantly wanting to die. I wanted to graduate in 2021 because that’s what I was “supposed to do.” Truth is it wasn’t, and I am now suffering from those consequences. Yet even in my suffering God has been faithful to me. I barely have any friends, I’ve angered many people including those who I love because I’ve constantly quit jobs this year. I’ve hurt myself and hurt others. I’m exhausted, but God is still good.
I’ve been able to change lives because I love others. I’ve also tried to people please instead of God please. I’ve done so many things and have inflicted trauma on myself because of it.
I write this to say never follow yourself or others. Follow the God whom saves. He is faithful. He was trying to protect me from everything I’ve endured. Lord be with me. I am so sorry for the sins I’ve committed. For wanting to prove myself to those in whom could never save me, as I cannot save myself either. Only you can save, only you can live and choose who lives. I love you Lord, I pray this year be greater than what I could ever imagine and that the person reading this is blessed by my testimony and that they remember to follow you, even in human error. I love you,
Your daughter. Tiara. ❤️