Today I questioned God,
It was the hardest moment in my spiritual life and my personal life, as they are now one because I am a born again Christian.
I wondered how I asked how, I thought: How are these animals being abused and taken from their homelands.
It was as if I stripped off my spiritual clothes and became of full flesh, tempted by sin.
Not because I questioned God, but because of the way I asked, and my anger towards God.
I was fueled with ignorance and anger towards God for allowing elephants to be hurt and abused.
I could not understand why the God I serve who loves me so dearly was allowing such bad things to happen, as they are not human beings.
I became even angrier when I had no response, then an answer came.
This is a test. – God, my God.
It was time to soul search.
I cried some more, wept actually.
I received my answer
– it wasn’t good enough for me.
So, I became more angry, livid, sending in complaints and animal cruelty petitions to end this crisis.
More, and more, my mother realized that after I vented to her, I needed time.
A few minutes later, filled with hurt and hatred for abusers in my heart – I sobbed.
I crawled into my mother’s arms like a baby.
She read to me a passage that my spirit craved, from where and what was said?
– I have no idea, no remembrance of what happened other than I heard God, again:
This is a test. – God, Our God.
He said it so clearly that my heart pierced in remembering that
HE IS GOD. THE ALMIGHTY, THE ALL POWERFUL.
I felt joy, yet sorrow as I condemned my father of the doings that only sin can produce, not The Holy One.
He said to me, to my spirit as well: Free will.
My heart almost sank.
Wow, want an Almighty God he truly is.
I said: I’m sorry, God.
Now, I asked for forgiveness:
Please forgive me,
Father, forever questioning your love for me, your son’s feelings, and the earth’s treasures: animals.
As you are the Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Alpha and Omega.
I love you, Father.
I love you, and please forgive me as I know you have already done so.
THANK YOU for your acceptance of the imperfect me.
Tiara, Your daughter
~ Words to God. ♡