I decided to take the opportunity to graduate in 2021, pushing myself harder and harder to the point of having several mental breakdowns a day, constantly wanting to die. I wanted to graduate in 2021 because that’s what I was “supposed to do.” Truth is it wasn’t, and I am now suffering from those consequences. Yet even in my suffering God has been faithful to me. I barely have any friends, I’ve angered many people including those who I love because I’ve constantly quit jobs this year. I’ve hurt myself and hurt others. I’m exhausted, but God is still good.
I’ve been able to change lives because I love others. I’ve also tried to people please instead of God please. I’ve done so many things and have inflicted trauma on myself because of it.
I write this to say never follow yourself or others. Follow the God whom saves. He is faithful. He was trying to protect me from everything I’ve endured. Lord be with me. I am so sorry for the sins I’ve committed. For wanting to prove myself to those in whom could never save me, as I cannot save myself either. Only you can save, only you can live and choose who lives. I love you Lord, I pray this year be greater than what I could ever imagine and that the person reading this is blessed by my testimony and that they remember to follow you, even in human error. I love you,
Here is reading of scripture that God gave to me to read: Psalm 91 🕊
I hope you all enjoy this Bible passage as much as I do. These scriptures have helped me, as well as others, so much during this time. For we are reminded in this passage that we are safe in the shelter of the Most High and protected from the enemy when we are in His hands. 🙏🏾
You are loved! You are safe! You are protected in the name of the Lord!
Today I took a Math Quiz. I went through to check all my questions before submission, and then rechecked. As I scrolled to the top to see my grade, I realized I had 1 question wrong. My entire mood began to change. A 9/10, with just 1 wrong number on a question my emotions went from high to low. I write this to say how often we allow the little things in life to upset us. We allow it to pile up in our minds until we explode. Because of 1 mistake my grade went from a potential 100, to a 90. This tiny mistake led me to being upset and putting my emotions on the throne instead of God. For a few short seconds I forgot who I was and who I serve. How often do we allow the little moments in life to affect us? To make us feel as if we are low or not good enough? They become our biggest insecurities and regrets, when instead they should become our biggest inspirations. Don’t allow something going wrong, that tiny little thing, distract you from the other achievements in your life. You’re still breathing, you’re still standing. A 9/10 is better than nothing. 9 is stronger than 1. So, remember all the wonderful things going on in your life are so much stronger than the negative.