20 yrs old: One with God.

I’ve been longed out, a word given from God, in this lifetime,
Then I realized my past twenty years of living have been long and hardworking, yet rewarding and contemplative.
Actually, after talking and hearing from God.
It hasn’t.
God just gave me that word, contemplative.
Meaning,
1. expressing or involving prolonged.
2. A person whose life is devoted primarily to prayer, especially in a monastery or convent.
I thought it was going to mean something completely different, a synonym to words that reflect anger, defeat, or resentment. But instead, it is a godly word. A biblical word, you must say. It is everything he wants for his children to live by to obey his word, and learn from the juices of his fruit from wisdom.
And the word, longed, meaning a past tense:
1. To have a strong wish or desire.
I’ve “wanted” my whole life.
Consistently asking for things that I thought would me something. Nothing fulfilled me because if it was not of God or from God, it’s useless.
You see, without God, life is miserably unnoticed.
Every day is like the same, boring and useless.
But with God, every day is an adventure, a look at what he has planned for you as in
Jeremiah 29:11 “I will bless you with a future filled with hope—a future of success, not of suffering.”,
and the cause of never being alone,
“You will turn back to me and ask for help, and I will answer your prayers.” Jeremiah 29:12
He has made my path for me; it is up to me and only me to follow it, as it is for everyone.
The rest of us are living life, but Jesus died on the cross for our lives.
There is no reasoning to feel angry and upset because we are living due to the compassion of a man, a God, a spirit, named Jesus.